Hi All,
        With Australia Day approaching it is time to have a laugh

You know you're Australian if....

You know the meaning of 'girt'

You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk

You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin

You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse

You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden

When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom

You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds

You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'

You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'

You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional

You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'

You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep

You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'

You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place

You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin

You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'

You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread

You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis

You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'

You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'

You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year

You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'

You wear ugh boots outside the house

You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them

Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language

You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite

You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via your nose

You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'

You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle

Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket

You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'

You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'

When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit

You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered

You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction

When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer

You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second

You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!
 
Have a good one
Peter W




 

It seems that I'm only 89% Australian.

I see you've learnt the Barcoo salute, said the bushman to Prince Philip.
'What's that?', said the prince, as he brushed a fly from his face.

And for our USA members, do spare a thought for a former colleague, on exchange from your nation, who complained of falling on his fanny.

Regards,
Roderick B Smith
Rail News Victoria Editor

I didnt read it as told! Anyway, I cant understand the "langwidge" even though my brother has had one of your passports for at least thirty years! (Or is that thirsty years). Gdiy blue. Regards, Walter.

Quote from: Peter Webster on January 15, 2009, 06:44:39 PM...With Australia Day approaching...

Really, when is it exactly? I still have a plastic 'Crocodile Dundee' hat and an inflatable surfboard with the 'Fosters' logo on it from a previous year's pub celebration...

Mon.26.1.09.
A packed program may be viewed at www.australiaday.vic.gov.au/home.asp
The highlight will be the annual yellow paddleduck race
https://secure1.impactdata.com.au/websites/lsvducks071030/intro2.html

Regards,
Roderick B Smith
Rail News Victoria Editor

And to think we tried to educate that lot, obviously the missionaires haven't reached aussie yet
   

Hold on all.....Sandy....what the Judges @ the Olde Bailey did not realise was that sending convicts to OZ was really to a land of  ....

Derek... [a proud direct decendent of a convict deported onboard HMS Scarborough in the First Fleet].....

PS... these types of comments appear year after year on PD's.....my only response is that the transcripts from the Olde Bailey accompanied the mortals in the First Fleet and are archived.....but still available from the Mitchell Library in Sydney.......so at least we can confirm our parentage........

PPS...to Peter Webster.....upon reflection....I think it would be a great gesture on your part  ....for you to allow other NON-OZ members to read the text......

Derek,
         I suppose they could look at it but remember that it does'nt have pictures

Peter W

OK PD's ....& thanks Peter.......all these other DINGBATS  ..tried to take away our OZ spirit

In reflection I can see various members in their Tarten Kilts ......... 

However on my OZ day .....I must reflect on the penal servitude as "offered" to my proud forebares via the Olde Bailey......to sending us to  ........... Derek

Quote from: derekwarner_decoy on January 21, 2009, 09:39:23 PM
OK PD's ....& thanks Peter.......all these other DINGBATS  ..tried to take away our OZ spirit

In reflection I can see various members in their Tarten Kilts ......... 

However on my OZ day .....I must reflect on the penal servitude as "offered" to my proud forebares via the Olde Bailey......to sending us to  ........... Derek

With the weather outside you will not find me wearing a Tartan Kilt, Its trews with long johns underneath. -20 C with the wind chill.
Regards,
Gerald

Derek,
When the missionaries arrive in Oz, they'll teach you that we wear TARTAN  kilts.

And many jokes exist on the topic, including a quite gruesome one.

Also:
'Goodbye Donald.  Where be ye goin?'
'I'm taking up a missionary position in Orstralia'.

Regards,
Roderick B Smith
Rail News Victoria Editor