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Author Topic: Clean humour.  (Read 5972 times)

Offline DamienG

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Re: Clean humour.
« Reply #120 on: October 10, 2018, 01:15:30 PM »
A wholesaler in New York sent a letter to the postmaster of a small Midwestern town. He asked for the name of an honest lawyer who would take a collection case against a local debtor who had refused to pay for a shipment of the wholesaler's goods. He got this reply: Dear Sir: I am the postmaster of this village and received your letter. I am also an honest lawyer and ordinarily would be pleased to accept a case against a local debtor. In this case, however, I also happen to be the person you sold? those crummy goods to. I received your demand to pay and refused? to honor it. I am also the banker you sent the draft to draw on the merchant, and I sent that back with a note stating that the? merchant had refused to pay. ?If I were not, for the time being, substituting for the pastor of our local church, I would tell you just what I thought of your claim.

Offline DamienG

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Re: Clean humour.
« Reply #121 on: November 29, 2018, 11:39:13 AM »
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

Offline derekwarner_decoy

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  • Wollongong - Australia
Re: Clean humour.
« Reply #122 on: November 29, 2018, 05:38:23 PM »
I reckon Blonde jokes are terrible :a102 .........

But the one with the Blonde painting a typing error on the monitor with TYPEX always gets me   :great
Derek Warner

Honorary Secretary [Retired]
Illawarra Live Steamers Co-op
Australia
www.ils.org.au

Offline DamienG

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Re: Clean humour.
« Reply #123 on: November 29, 2018, 08:01:41 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline DamienG

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Re: Clean humour.
« Reply #124 on: December 28, 2018, 10:16:24 PM »
So I was talking to a friend about the lists that
seniors make. For example, there is the bucket list.
Then there is the to do list, The bucket list is the
more enjoyable because its made of the stuff that YOU
want to do. where as the to do list, also known as
the honey do list, that is the one that she wants you to
do. Well, I have discovered there is yet another list.
And this one is the one that has evolved over the
years, and I have also gotten pretty good at it. It is
known as the do nothing list. This one is much
preferable to the other two. Both of the other lists
require something called "effort." a commodity
I have discovered that I have less of the more years
I live. Oh, and that bucket list? Don't worry
about that one so much, you are likely to put your
foot in it and trip.Its very similar to the "insert foot in
mouth thing."

Offline DamienG

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Re: Clean humour.
« Reply #125 on: January 10, 2019, 03:47:21 PM »
One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion.
"I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor.
"No, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.
An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong.
It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'."
"Thank you nurse," said one of the doctors,
"but we prefer to settle this argument ourselves.
Besides, we don't
think you are in a position to describe the sound of an elephant passing wind under water."


 

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