Hello Ian
With a bit of luck you should find a couple of roughish drawings of regulator designs that I have been using sucessfully for geting on for 20 years. The designs are obviously much smaller than you need, but can be easily scaled up.
You will see that on the linear one, I don't use a tapered rod into a hole to regulate and shut off the steam. Shut off is achieved with the "approx 1/32 rad" pushing into the sharp edge of the drilled hole - sounds horrible, but works well. You will see that the rod working in the 3/32 hole is only 90 thou. This leaves space for enough steam to get through for the engine to tick over. Although not dimentioned, there should be a short length left parallel before the filed curve which obviously controls the amount of steam to the engine. It seemed to me to be easier to experiment with the rate of opening this way rather than to taper the rod.
The round regulator has a couple of features that I havn't come across on other designs. 1 The actual valve plate is separte from the operating spindle and should be an easy fit on the two driving pins, and is held firmly onto the valve face by the steam pressure. 2 The nick filed into the leading edge of the steam transfer hole can be experimented with to get a nice gentle control when starting of slowing.
I wonder what engine you are using - is it that Alan Rayman design?
I think I can only send one drawing at a time so here's the first
Regards Malcolm