Paddleducks
General => Chat & Off Topic Stuff => Topic started by: Eddy Matthews on April 05, 2011, 06:47:47 PM
-
Hi all,
We have another problem in the Matthews household.... First a bit of history to put things into perspective. It will all become clear later, so bear with me!
Roz, my wife, has suffered from epilepsy since she was about 16 - That has never been very well controlled, so she's had literally thousands of falls, broken bones, head injuries, burns and scalds over the years. The epilepsy settled down about 4 years ago, for no apparent reason, and she's been seizure free for about 3 years. She also suffers for a condition called ataxia, which means her balance is poor and she often slurs her words (much like she's drunk). And finally, she had cervical cancer 15 months ago, which resulted in a radical hysterectomy and radio therapy to cure it....
Over the last few weeks she has been slurring her words more and more, and struggling to find words - So much so that it has often been difficult to understand what she's trying to say. She has been getting more and more confused. Last thursday she had a small seizure, and on friday she had a massive seizure, the worst I've ever seen her take in over 40 years!
I was getting very concerned so after a trip to our GP, who could find nothing obvious wrong, I rang Roz's neurologist - And we got an appoinment for monday (yesterday).
He listened patiently to everything I had to say as Roz was unable to tell him much.... He examined her, and then sent her for blood tests and an MRI scan. At that point we were called back in to see the neurologist. He then told us that Roz had a brain tumour - At this point we don't know if it's something totally new, or if it's her previous cancer which has spread...
Roz was admitted to hospital immediately, and they plan on giving her steroids to shrink the growth in her brain. They will do a series of tests to determine if it's spread of her previous cancer or not. Then it will be decided if any action is possible - At the least it will mean major brain surgery, but if it's a spread of her cancer then things don't look very good....
Needless to say this has been devastating news, and for the foreseeable future I'll be spending my time running backwards and forwards to hospital. So if I'm not around as much as usual, or I seem a bit abrupt, please bear with me - As I'm sure you can all imagine, I have lots on my mind right now!
I'll post further news as and when I find out what's happening from the neurologists, and we can only hope that my current rather doom and gloom thoughts are unfounded...
Regards
Eddy
-
Eddy,
I am so sorry for your beloved wife and yourself, I really do not know what say, other than my problem health wise re my wife and I seem to dim into nothing.
I write this with tears in my eyes, how cruel can the world be to some, that are good, and try to help. I long time lost faith in the almighty with suffering in my family, alone the world!
I will plug for you both in my way, I cannot write anymore, bless you both.
Len.
-
WHAT CAN ANYONE SAY THAT HAS ANY MEANING?. Ive told Ian Les and Bob and will pass the message on at the club. If there is ANYTHING we can do dont hesitate- we are all rooting for you and Roz. Dont worry about Waverley trip- Bob is cancelling so one less thing to think of. All the very best, Walter.
-
I am so sorry to hear your news.
Please accept my sincere best wishes for you both.
Pete.
-
god bless you Eddy, and i think i can say from us all take care
-
Eddy......I have been interstate for 14 days without the Internet.....our thoughts from OZ are with you & your family....Derek
-
Many thanks for all the kind words, they certainly help!
Today my wife was due to go for a chest and abdominal scan - She was given a contrast dye to drink this morning prior to the scans, but at that point she knocked the canula out of her hand which is needed for further injections during the scan. The doctors were unable to find another vein, and by the time they did, it was too late for the scan as the contrast dye would have already passed through her system.
They cannot give her another dose of the contrast fluid until 24hrs have passed, so now we have to wait until tomorrow for the scans to be done :(
So yet another day to wait until we start to get some definite news :(
Regards
Eddy
-
What can one say, other than my thoughts and prayers are wouth you and your family.
-
Roz (my wife), had her chest and abdominal scans done yesterday, and I managed to have a word with her neurologist...
He started by saying that the scans didn't show any obvious signs of further tumours, so I was just starting to feel a bit brighter thinking that was good news..... He then made it clear that he still felt the brain tumour was a secondary caused by her previous cancer scare a year ago. So things still look fairly grim :(
We now have to wait until next week to be referred to a neuro-surgeon - He will then decide if any treatment is possible. At this time we don't even know if it's possible to do a biopsy, nevermind surgery.... The tumour is on the left side of her brain, in the area that controls speech, rational thought, intellect and personality. So it may be too dangerous to operate on it?
Roz is still very confused, and insists that she is okay, constantly asking me to take her home - Which is very upsetting. Because of the pressure in her brain, she cannot understand what is wrong.
So now we have yet more waiting...... I'm starting to get very emotional (again!) writing this, so it's time to wipe away the tears and go and calm down. But once again, we thank everyone for their support and understanding.
Regards
Eddy
-
No real news on Roz just yet.... She's had a chest and abdominal scan done, and they were clear. Yesterday she had a mamogram, and I hope the neuro-surgeon will examine those this morning. Then we might start to get some answers?
We still don't know if any treatment is possible, or even if it's a spread of her previous cancer. I have to admit that all this waiting is starting to get VERY frustrating!
Yesterday I had to break the news to my eldest daughter - Up until then she only knew that her mum was in hospital for a few tests.... That was perhaps the most difficult conversation I've ever had! Of course there were tears (from both of us!), but she took it surprisingly well. I didn't hold any punches as she had to know the whole truth, but I did choose my words VERY carefully so I didn't paint a picture of total doom and gloom.
So now we wait again...... :(
Regards
Eddy
-
Got back from seeing the neuro-surgeon earlier today - Not good news :(
Surgery has been ruled out as it would almost certainly result in permanent brain damage due to the size and location of the tumour. Even if Roz was able to undergo surgery, her confused state would make follow up radio-therapy a none starter....
So bottom line is she probably has significantly less than one year to live...
What more can I say? I'm absolutely devastated!
Eddy
-
Eddy,
How do I express myself over your sad news, my heart is with you, words cannot express my sadness for you both. Chin up, and hope things will be better than diagnosed, sorry mate.
My kind regards, Len
-
Thanks Len, and to everyone else that has either emailed me or sent a PM on the forum.
I'm afraid I don't have a lot to say at the moment, as I'm still getting my head around the latest news. I've never felt so totally damned useless and helpless as I feel right now!
Eddy
-
I went to visit my wife today, and it was a real pleasure to see her very bright and cheerful - Much better than she's been for the last week or so. She's still very confused, and we often have the same conversation dozens of times, but just to see her smile and have a bit of a laugh and a joke made things so much better....
Hopefully I'll see one of the doctors tomorrow so I can get answers to my million questions, and arrange for Roz to come home.
Once again, my sincere thanks for everyones support.
Regards
Eddy
-
Well, good news and bad news.....
I had hoped that I would see Professor Kane today, the neuro surgeon, but he was tied up with meetings all day and couldn't fit me in :(
But I got a phonecall from the ward that my wife is on, and she can come home until next wednesday - The downside is that they wouldn't let her come home unless I had a bed for her downstairs. Fortunately we have a large hallway which normally has a dining table in it, so there's space for a bed. I had to take the table and chairs out into the garden and burn them, as I had no other way to quickly dispose of them..... Then a mad dash round various stores to find someone that could not only supply a single bed, but also deliver it tomorrow (a bank holiday!).... I eventually got one company that would do it (at a price!), so the credit card has been hit yet again!!
And I have also now fixed an appointment to see Professor Kane and Mr Dunlop (the oncologist), for next wednesday - So hopefully we can get some definite answers!
So for the first time in almost a month I'll have my three girls (wife and two daughters) at home! :)
Eddy
-
eddy, i can only admire you for your fortitude and stoic handling of this.
i would have gone to pieces long ago.
god bless you all, and my thoughts and prayers go withyou.
neil.
-
eddy, i can only admire you for your fortitude and stoic handling of this.
i would have gone to pieces long ago.
god bless you all, and my thoughts and prayers go withyou.
neil.
Cheers Neil,
Beleive me I've had my moments trying to come to terms with everything! It's been a rough few weeks, and we have a long way still to go.... But the bottom line is you have to deal with these things and make the most out of it. That isn't always easy!
It's just cost me almost £400 to get a bed that was priced at £250 - YES, thats a total ripoff, but it was the only company that would gaurantee to deliver tomorrow, and come hell or high water, Roz IS coming home tomorrow! We probably have very little time left together, so a mere thing like money is NOT going to prevent that!
Eddy
-
Roz is now at home.... At least until next wednesday, providing we can cope and as long as it's safe for her to be here!
Bearing in mind that I've only ever seen her lying in a hospital bed for the last 3 weeks, I was surprised to see just how poor her walking has become in that time, she would be unable to stand and take a couple of steps on her own! In fact she fell off the hospital bed when getting dressed to come home, and that was with a nurse helping her! Her abdomen is also badly distended. The confusion is as bad as ever, and she's still struggling to find her words...
I just hope this is a bad day, and after a good nights rest she improves tomorrow. I have to admit that I'm concerned that things have become so much worse so quickly!
Eddy
-
Sadly Roz got steadily worse over the weekend - Her ability to walk has almost gone, so just getting her to the bathroom was a major problem. Her speech has also got significantly worse over the last few days, and last night I was unable to control the pain that was giving her a headache, so we both sat up all night....
This morning I took Roz back to the hospital as something had to be done to ease her pain - Her neurologist came to see her while I was there, and he was surprised to see just how quickly Roz had deteriorated.
She has been moved to a sideroom on her own, and given morphine. I also met the Doctor who is head of the palliative care team, and tomorrow I have to see the rest of his team and the McMillan nurses, so it's obvious what is happening! An extremely upsetting day all round :(
I hope things can be arranged so that Roz can be cared for at home, but I'm not sure if that will be possible? We also have a severely mentally and physically handicapped daughter, so I also have to care for her. Not that I'm complaining, far from it!, but it does add to the problems we have to deal with.
That's enough for tonight, I need to get my head round all of this.....
Eddy
-
prayers go with you eddy, god bless you.
neil.
-
Believe me Eddy all of us on here ar thinking and praying for the Matthews family. You've had a lot to contend with over the years and you've done that with fortitude. Anything that we can assist you with you know what to do "Ask" and it will be given in any way we can.
Jim
-
I've just back from visiting my wife in hospital.... Her neurologist came in for a chat while I was there. Roz has now been put on "end of life care", which basically means she probably only has days left, and the doctors will not do anything to prolong life. They will simply keep her as comfortable and pain free as possible...
That's it for now, I simply don't have the words to express how I feel :(
Eddy
-
we'll all be thinking of you Eddy....take care and god bless.
neil.
-
Yet again, my thanks for everyones kind words, either in this post, via PM's or emails.... Your comments and support are all appreciated, but I just cannot respond to each one personally as it's too upsetting!
Regards
Eddy
-
My thoughts go out to you Eddy. May God give you strength.
Ken
-
Sadly Roz passed away just before 1pm today....
I was there with my daughter Gillian, and Roz's mum Maureen, so we got to say our goodbyes. At least Roz is now free from pain.
God bless sweetheart,
Eddy
-
Our deepest condolence to you and your family!
Beate + Hans
Sadly Roz passed away just before 1pm today....
I was there with my daughter Gillian, and Roz's mum Maureen, so we got to say our goodbyes. At least Roz is now free from pain.
God bless sweetheart,
Eddy
-
Eddy
My condolences to you and your family. I'm glad you could all be there to say goodbye.
Andy
-
Eddy,
Deepest condolences to you and your family at this time.
Clark
-
Eddy,
My condolences to yourself and your family at this time.
Ian
-
and god bless you and your family eddy tonight and always.
you are in all our thoughts especially tonight.
neil.
-
My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Eddy.
Ken
-
Words cannot express or sometimes help us to understand the way our Lord works Eddy - Derek
-
Eddy
With heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
Tony
-
Very sorry to hear about your loss Eddy. My thoughts are with you and the rest of your family.
Richard
-
Nothing can ease your pain Eddie but just know the love and support you have from the group of people on this site.
Old Man
-
Eddy, I have never met you, but feel you are a friend. My thoughts are with you and your family. Geoff
-
Eddy,
I am so sorry over your sad loss of your beloved wife, no words at this time will possibly ease the pain you and your family are enduring at present, other than Roz is now at peace, and pain free.
Bless you all.
Len.
-
Eddy
My condolences to yourself and your family at this time.
Dave
-
Eddy
My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Gerald.
-
Hi Eddy
My Condolences for you and your Family.
Jörg
-
My sorrow for you and your family,
my condolences
Sandy Thomson at Tynemouth.
-
Hi Edward
Bruce has got me to read your recent posts. Please accept our sincere condolences on your loss of Roz and to Gillian and Christine on the loss of their Mother. We often look at the photos of you all at the family reunion some years ago.
Love and best wishes
from your cousin Irene
-
Once again, my sincere thanks for everyones kind words, including those that have PM'd me or emailed me....
It's just impossible to reply to everyone individually, and to be honest it would just be too heartbreaking to attempt it!
I had never ever considered the possibility that I would lose Roz, I always assumed that it would be me that went first as it's me that smokes and drinks and has high blood pressure! So although it's still very early days, I'm finding it all very difficult to come to terms with. I never thought it was possible to feel so damned alone!
The next few days aren't going to get any easier. Today I have to register the death, and start to make funeral arrangements - Something that has to be done, but I'm definitely not looking forward to it! Then there's the bank accounts to sort, various government departments to inform, life insurance etc etc, the list seems endless!
Eddy
-
just keep talking to us, Eddy............we will always be here to listen.
neil.
-
Eddy,
If Roz had any Credit Cards cancel them immediately. When my parents died they apparently spent more the first month after death on there Credit Cards then they had the whole time they were alive. It took me about a year each time to straighten it out.
Regards,
Gerald.
-
Eddy,
my deepest condolence to you and your family.
Tom
-
As some of you will know, I have a mentally and physically handicapped daughter, Christine....
I received a couple of letters from the DHSS about her benefits on friday, one of which contained a form that needed to be completed and returned. Unfortunately I couldn't answer a couple of the questions, as they related to benefits that were paid to either me or my wife on Christines behalf - So I phoned them this morning to ask which one of us got the various benefits..... A simple enough question you would have thought?
I'm legally appointed as Christines representative, as she is unable to communicate, but because my head is so scrambled after Roz's death, I couldn't answer their security questions correctly - And because of the data protection act they wouldn't speak to me! Even though I explained things and pleaded with them! Their answer was that I should call back later, and PERHAPS (only perhaps), I might get asked some different security questions that I would be able to answer - I tried that and got asked exactly the same questions again!!
Sadly this isn't the first time I've experienced the pure pig headedness of Government departments. They always seem to do these things at the time when you can least cope with it all!
Eventually I got in touch with Christines care worker, and she phoned them on my behalf - So I eventually got the answer that I wanted....
But it took over 3 hours and was extremely upsetting! I don't think these little jobsworths have any compassion at all, in fact I doubt they even know the meaning of the word!
Sorry, but I just had to get that little lot off my chest....
Eddy
-
they are complete t o s s e r s , eddie, and no matter how you speak to them, they are mere automatons of a very selfish governmental department.
i once chained myself to a woman's radiator at our local dole office because of their intransigence.
every summer hols whilst at uni, i used to go and sign on and would ask for work.
because it would only be for eight weeks they couln't give me any.....no one wanted to take someone on for that short period.so i'd sign on for the dole.....every year we'd go through the same rigmarol and i would get dole money backdated but it would arrive in the middle of october well after i'd gone back to uni......then i'd have to go through the same ol' same ol' of giving them back the money cheque as it was too much, and then they'd finally get the right amount to me just in time for christmas, lol.
well, after the third year i told them i'd had enough of their idiocy and either wanted a job or dole to see me through the summer holiday....can't do said the spotty youth on the counter..........
i wanna see a supervisor said i.
after waiting about 30 minutes i got to see one, and i explained the situation as it had happenned the last two years........stoney faced, she just shrugged her shoulders and said..that's the system..
so i told her that if she didn't do something i would chain myself to her radiator till she did.
thinking i was joking she told me to go ahead.....so i did, putting the chain from my bike through my trouser leg, and locking the padlock......her face was priceless.......took her ten minutes of just looking to realise i'd done it.......then the flap was on......whilst i sat there reading a book, no end of people came to look at me...two hours i sat there, and even got offered a brew and butties.......at last a copper turned up and asked me to unlock myself......hadn't got a key i told him........then came the seargent, and finally an inspector [ these were in the days when there were more rozzers than crims]...finally the inspecter told the seargent who told the constable to take my trousers off me and escort me from the premeses........to which i replied that i wasn't going out into the street cos i'd no grundies under my trousers...........half an hour passed when a local garage man came with some bolt cutters.......my parting shot to the now quite quivvering woman was...i'll be back next tuesday..........my dole money arrived two days later, lol
that's the only thing these people understand....sheer embarrasment, lol
-
The life insurance company rang me today - Now I need to get a "Grant of representation" from the Probate office before they will settle Roz's life insurance payment :(
So I rang the probate office in Newcastle - They will send the forms I need to complete in the next 10 days, then it will take 6 weeks to process everything, and that's before I can even send off the paperwork to the insurance company, so realistically I'm looking at about 2 months to get it all sorted. :(
Why do all these people make things so damned difficult? It's not as if we're talking hundreds of thousands of pounds! By the time I've paid all the funeral expenses we will be lucky to have about twelve thousand pounds left, and that has to last for the rest of my life as we have no other savings or assets.... And these people wonder why I'm a pee'd off and angry!
Eddy
-
Here is another tale of woe with government departments re: deaths -
Earlier this year my wife's mother died, leaving her 81 year old dad and ESN brother to fend for themselves. Since her death, the local authority have sent him 7 different demands for council tax on their property. He was near to tears when the last one arrived with a nasty note, threatening legal action.
Seems a lot of hassle caused for a demand of just £10, when the account was still open for a simple direct debit to be taken from his account.
In desparation he managed to contact the local councillor who has arranged to meet the authorities Director of Finance.
It shouldn't happen to an 81 year old OAP who is not in good health, looking after an ESN son, has never owed anyone a penny and spent the bulk of his life working.
Tony.
-
This may sound like a bit of ranting and raving, but I hope people won't take it that way, and just think about it for a while..... It might just help out someone else in the future.
It's now 25 days since Roz passed away, and it's been hard (very hard), to come to terms with things. Of course there are lots of times when silly little memories bring on floods of tears, and I'm sure that will continue for a long time. Hans Freund (scotfriend) and his girlfriend, Beate, came to visit the day after Roz died. But apart from that, during those 25 days, only two people have been to visit me - And I had to ask them both to come over, when I was feeling particularly down and damned lonely!
I realise that I'm not the most happy or chatty person to be around right now, and that people just don't know what to say.... But it's not a question of saying anything, just being there is enough! So if you have a friend who has lost a loved one, please don't avoid them as if they have the plague - Go and see them! They WILL appreciate it more than you can imagine!
Regards
Eddy
-
Eddy,
I would pop over and visit, but I can't do the backstroke for that long plus my luck if I did make it Greenp**s would mistake me for a whale and keep shoving me back in the water. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. It is sometimes hard to judge as to whether some one wants company or solitude after the death of a loved one.
Regards,
Gerald.
-
Ive just read these postings with tears in my eyes. What can i
say? My thoughts are with you .We all have to part one day. Sadly
for you to soon. Youve a lot of caring friends on this forum.Like me
some will not know what to say.John
-
I am very very new here Eddy and do not know you long term as other members do.
Many of us or others do know know how to act when confronted with friends or neighbors losses. Sharing it here is a good start- So is getting out so others can see that you are functioning- or invite a few over for a pint etc. around the shop or fiddle with some boats.
Many people have poor skills in this area and letting them know that YOU are still alive and in need of contact is a good way to get them off the mark.
Pop to you local pub for a pint and let the bar man know you are able to bend your elbow may help spread the word to others!! You never know.
Prayers for you and your daughter !!
-
Thanks for all the kind words guys....
I was just starting to think I was coming to terms with things after 7 weeks, but the last few days have been nothing but sad memories and floods of tears :( I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy!
I'm still fighting beaurocracy - I eventually have an appointment with the probate office, 20th July! Good to see another government department that hurries things along eh? I applied for bereavement benefit which was awarded earlier this week, I then got a letter saying that the carers allowance I get for looking after my handicapped daughter would be stopped because the bereavement benefit took my income over the allowed amount - So they gave with one hand and took back with the other!
I'm seriously thinking of asking my doctor to arrange some counselling to help me get over this - I'm finding things incredibly difficult to deal with, and I just don't know where to turn to! My friends keep asking if I'm okay, and I just say "Yes, I'm fine..." - That certainly isn't true, but it's easier than telling the truth! And I don't want to constantly appear to be down in the dumps (to use an English expression), as I'm sure they would soon get tired of that!
Eddy
-
Hello Eddy,
I am so sorry you are having all this agro at times you less need it, life is difficult enough at present for you, my heart goes out for you and family, as ever over your sad loss.
Governments department seem indifferent of times of grief, in their drive to give all their so called rights, but also making sure that all avenues to recover are in place, I have had experience if this in the past of obtaining help from the powers to be, almost being giving the impression of making it too hard to apply at times!!!.
Albeit these grants are available, there are pitfalls galore, to eventually getting your rights, more so this “Bereavement Allowance” which you are now becoming aware of.
I do not wish to tell you where to go or look, as I am sure you are quite a capable person and try your best for your family, but at times despair seems to rule, but our inner self takes over and gets control.
For what use it may be look at this site:
http://www.turn2us.org.uk/information__resources/benefits/bereavement_allowance.aspx (http://www.turn2us.org.uk/information__resources/benefits/bereavement_allowance.aspx)As a fellow sufferer over the years, you have my commiserations. (If you are not happy, question the results)!
Regards, Len Knight.
-
Hi Eddy
Sometimes it pays to blow your top with these petty officals ., I applied for this fund of my late sister inlaw and I tried to be polite and I tried to do things according to the book but after the fourth visit to clear up yet another point I must admit I lost the plot after ranting and raving for a bit I calmed down and low and behold they could not do enough!! My sister-in-law left behind a ten year old daughter ( no husband )..
So you just hang in there Eddy and if you feel it is right go for it . And remember YOU EARNT IT
Old Man
-
Well, what to say?.......
I've been finding it incredibly difficult to deal with Roz's death.... As most people who know me would probably say, I'm able to cope with everything that life throws at me and always come out of it as a stronger person in the end. But not this time!
My emotions are all over the place, feelings of anger directed at my two girls (who don't deserve it!), feelings of guilt with lots of "what if's" when I think back about Roz, and worst of all feelings of total loneliness! I've cried and been upset before, when my mum and dad died, and when we lost our first child (Susan), but nothing even comes close to how I feel right now :(
I'm still losing weight, and I'm now under twelve and a half stone, when my average weight has been around 16-16.5 for years. I can get to sleep fine, but after 3-4 hours I'm wide awake, and cannot go back to sleep even though I feel shattered.... So I end up making myself a cup of tea and sitting in front of the computer for hours on end.
So I went to see my doctor yesterday - The end result is that I'm now being treated for depression and have a small supply of sleeping tablets to help get a full nights sleep. She thinks it's too early to consider any bereavement counselling until the emotions aren't quite as raw as they are now. I have another apointment to see her in a few weeks, so we'll see how it goes.... I don't realy feel too hopeful right now :(
Sorry to bore everyone yet again....
Eddy
-
Hi Eddy,
sonds not so fine. What about the built of a new paddle steamer than eating medicine? Could bring other thoughts to you!
Andy
-
Eddy
You are not boring us! Lots of people rooting for you. Have sent PM.
Andy
-
Eddy,
I have no experience of what your going through. But i did have a mentor that said that the first step on any journey is the hardest.
Sounds like you have taken the first step!. Hell, that's not an easy step .. I'd be the last to accept i needed help .. probably makes you stronger than me . You know where I am if you need to chat.
Regards
Kim
-
My sincere thanks to everyone that PM'd me or emailed me..... It's lovely to know that so many people seem to care!
Those that have been here for a while will know that I've had a lot to deal with in the last 6 or 7 months (maybe the last 6 or 7 years if you count the death of my mum and dad), and obviously it's all just got on top of me - I never thought that I was the type to suffer from depression (is there a type?), so even that has been difficult to come to terms with.
At least the medication that my doctor prescribed seems to be helping a little, I'm not quite as tearful as I have been, so lets hope that's a positive sign? Although I'm the first to admit that I'm not my normal cheerful self by any means!
Anyway, once again, thankyou to those that have shown their support - At this extremely difficult time it's greatly appeciated!
Regards
Eddy
-
Eddy ----I wish you the best of everything, thanks for your recent help with the Charlotte Dundas. I am 77 years old on August 6 2011, and it seems like I get a new suprise every day. Good luck fellow modeler, Thanks again Stu Kerrn
-
I've been putting things off for month after month, as I didn't feel that I could face them, but the time has come to move on. I've made arrangements to have my wifes ashes laid to rest with her father in Marske, and that will be done on thursday.
It will be a sad and tearful day, saying my final farewells, but the time has come, and it won't get any easier if I continue to leave it...
Yet again, my sincere thanks for everyones support - I may not have replied to everyone individually, but just knowing that people care has made a difference!
Regards
Eddy